Here we are…. July 10, 2015, Anderson’s 9th
Birthday. Every year, it is hard to
explain, but Anderson’s birthday is very very difficult for me. I usually cry for about 2 weeks before his
birthday and 2 weeks after his birthday.
Anderson had a pediatrician who once told me it was “ok”, having a
special needs child is a grieving process that will continue the rest of my
life. We will go thru the emotions of
grieving over and over again. I think
his birthday is hard because it is a reminder for me of where he is “suppose to
be”. This brings on the sadness….it
makes me think of “typical” X year olds (depending on what birthday he is
turning.)
I can CLEARLY remember the month before Anderson’s 5th
birthday. People use to and still do say
“the window” closes at age 5. Some
closed minded doctors and other individuals will tell you that the window of
opportunity closes when your child turns 5 and you won’t get any more from them
(i.e. speech if they are not speaking, etc.).
I would wake up in the middle of the night and see an imaginary clock,
and this clock would tick and tick and tick in my mind. I would feel my chest tighten with anxiety,
what was I going to do as we approached his 5th birthday. I was putting myself in panic attacks in the
middle of the night. I would cry and cry
at the sight of other children close to Anderson’s age. Then, Anderson’s 5th birthday came
and went….he was still Anderson. We
still pushed forward as we had the other years……Anderson still made
progress. WELL, little did I know that
he would PROVE all of those people wrong.
THE WINDOW NEVER CLOSES, NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! Anderson did not speak his first true,
meaningful and repeatable SOUND until he was
7 years old…..just 2 years ago.
Today, we are up to well over 20 words and other people understand him. Now, it makes those nights 4 years ago seem
so silly…..I just need to trust that God has this under control as he has all
of these years.
This birthday….It was different. I only cried today, not the weeks
leading up to today. I cried a little
because I was sad, but more because I am happy….happy tears!
Anderson started hippo therapy today. Hippo therapy is when a patient rides a
horse and receives therapy. Anderson is
doing speech therapy while riding a horse.
There is a 6-month wait list for the facility that does this type of
therapy, they called me after only 2 months on the list and asked if we were
available on Fridays this summer. Anderson
has summer school Mon-Thursday, Friday off!
So, I said yes, we would love to start on Fridays. Then, they asked…could you come on July 10th
for your first visit? OH MY WORD!! OF COURSE we can! That is Anderson’s birthday. So, we went to his therapy and it was
incredible. I sat there with tears in my
eyes and my throat tight. I was so happy
to see Anderson so happy. He did not
stop “talking” his talk and saying words that the therapist (who has never met him)
understood!! I have truly never seen
Anderson so happy for an entire hour. He
did not stop smiling. IT made my heart
melt as I watched him. He did not stop
signing horse all day today. What a
gift! This is yet another example of God
watching over us and giving us the winks that we need that he is standing
beside us on this journey.
Today, I was not as sad as I also reflected on all Anderson has accomplished. Every year for the past 3 years has been better. There are no words I can say to express how this feels, but it is a gift to me, but more importantly to Anderson, it is priceless! He is gaining independence and he is less frustrated with his increased communication.
I pray that each of his birthdays become easier and easier
and my tears continue for happy memories, not grieving ones….. XOXO <3
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