Hard day

OHHH, today was such a hard day. I had one of those "why me" days. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking back on my day.

It should have been a great day....Ryan at school, Anderson at school....Kaitlyn home sick, and of course, Anna home with me. Just the girls....this part was so nice. But, I was in the doctor's office for the 3rd time this week. Okay, it is only Wednesday...so, yes, that means I was at the dr on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday! Monday..I had Kaitlyn in....Tuesday the boys at the ENT (sinus infections), and Wednesday Kaitlyn back b/c they wanted her back if she still had a fever today....which she did....now, she has a sinus infection. Three kiddos on antibotics.

So, I was frustrated that I've spent 3 of my last 3 days in a dr's office! UGGHHH!! Not as if I do not have enough places to be in any given week. PLUS, more importantly...more drugs for my kids. I was so frustrated by this. I had a LOOONNNGG conversation today about what to do. Ryan is getting to the point where strong RX do not work b/c he's been on them too many times. The bottom line is...we need to get the kids allergies under control b/c they are causing so many 2ndary problems (the ears, the sinus infections, the asthma, etc). I am taking Ryan back to the allergist now that he is 5....they will do a skin test on him. After that...all of them will have to go on a daily dose of Claritin and a nasal steroid. It bothers Char and I so much the kids will be on daily meds...but we do not feel as if we have any other choice! It stinks!

Then, I get Anderson home from school....he screams for 2.5 hours. From 4-6:45.....screaming! Well, he really screamed until he went to bed, but Charlie got home at 6:45. I was out of my mind. I am so sad for Anderson that he does this....he does not "want" to scream. He does not want to get so frustrated, but I am beside myself on how to help him. I am simply at a loss. Anderson is the cutest and most adorable little guy...but, he is so so so hard. I am so sad that he screams and makes me frustrated and so I have less patience. Kaitlyn is crying tonight b/c she is sick and Anderson's screaming is giving her a headache (.....I'm not sick and I had a headache from it!) AHHHH...what to do.

I just want Anderson to be "normal". I just want him to be a 3 year old boy riding his bike in the backyard. I try and I try and I try and I feel so beat down right now. I feel so defeated....I feel like I am losing hope and I have not felt this way for 3 years...but I am feeling it...and I don't like it. I am just at such a loss...........

My heart is broken today..............